getting out of my comfort zone

Last night, I was pushed out of my comfort zone... doing WODs with just bars and wooden bumpers.

Last September, we started Crossfit. Of course, being a beginner with no experience in lifting, I started with just the 35lb bar with wood bumper plates for any WOD that has anything arm-related especially jerks and push press.  Then October, we got pregnant. Well, I got pregnant, and had to scale back WODs and stayed at that 35lb bar. While it's true that I've been at Crossfit for over a year, 9 months of that I was pregnant and off for 5 weeks after the baby, I have modified and scaled down most, if not all of the WODs. I couldn't really work on much but just maintaining my strength status quo. In my head, I'm still a Crossfit Newbie(ish). So really, I'm back to where I started last year, back at those 35 lb bars. Or so I thought.

Last night's WOD was AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 20 minutes of 1 deadlift, hang clean, then front squat, and split jerk. I thought, well, I've been doing 35 lb bars while I was pregnant, sure, I'll go up to 45 tonight. Until Jim saw my bar and told me to go up some more. 

whaaaat??

So I took a 35 lb bar, and added 10-lbs on each side. I practiced one round... it was heavy. Ugh. I'm gonna die. I conveniently left two 5-lb weights on the side thinking I can always scale back in the middle of it if it got heavy. My goal is not to die or snap my arms in two and get at least 10 rounds. That's like what? 1 round per 2 minutes? Well guess what? I survived the 20 minutes... and I got 40 rounds at 55lbs! (I'm trying not to compare this with my husband's RX capabilities, but maybe I'll get there someday.)

Have I been coddling myself because I was pregnant? I can't use that "I'm pregnant" or "I just had a baby" excuse anymore. Now this is the start of me getting stronger, lifting more, and running faster (or at least not die after 1/4 of a mile.)

My coworker Janet (whom I introduced to Crossfit! YAY!) has once told me that it's surprising what your body can do, and that it can do so much more than what you think it can. I can totally see that now. 

I miss chocolate

So while I'm on the Lurong Paleo challenge, I'm still doing cakes on the side. It's really not as hard as I thought it would be. Last weekend was more difficult. I had to make cakeballs and I haven't had chocolate in 5 weeks. I miss chocolate. I know in a more flexible Paleo diet, chocolate is allowed, but on the Lurong challenge, unsweetened cocoa falls under the 1 tablespoon sweetener daily limit, so I just avoided chocolate altogether.  2.5 weeks to go!

It's me against myself

Other people's achievements usually motivate me. I'm not one to be jealous because I understand everyone is different. Their goals, their successes, their struggles, their journey. But last night, I watched an older lady bang out power cleans at 55 lbs while I struggled to even lift it up. My husband used 145lb for his power cleans and I can't even do these measly 55lbs? My ego and my head started to mess with me. She's older. Other people came into my attention. She started Crossfit only 2 months ago and she's already done! That person is lifting 85lbs and she's one round ahead of me already? Pride and ego enveloped my head and I started to doubt that I can even finish the WOD within the time limit. I had to say a quick prayer with a confession about jealousy in the middle of the WOD.  Cleared my head, focused on the wall in front of me and did not think. Then I just got it done. Barely.

Hey! It's a metaphor!

We get so caught up other people's successes or what they are doing that we don't put the 100% focus and effort on what we should be doing. We start to compare ourselves with others. The crafty moms made the Pinterest-treats for a classroom party, or the mom that ran a marathon last weekend, or the mom that got some sleep last night.  The mom that is home with the kids or the mom that works outside the home.  The dad that can fix all cars or computers or coach little league. The coworker that got promoted or your friend that can work his own hours vs. your 9-5.

Maybe it's just me.

You know how if you're at the mall, and you see a cool window display and fixate on that while walking? Eventually, you'll walk in a slight curve or if you're like me, run into a wall? That's my goal... is to just focus on my own journey. Not my husband's. Not my friends'. Not someone else's. My own.

Comparison is the thief of joy

WOD #4 Lurong Challenge:

50 Thrusters
50 Situps
10 minute limit

time: 8:23

Tonight is one of those nights that I feel like I haven't accomplished anything at Crossfit. Other ladies that have started the same day I started and even ones that started last month are lifting more and have better WOD times.  My husband keeps reminding me that yes, we've been at Crossfit for over a year, but 9 months of that, I was pregnant and took 2 months off.  I just felt weak tonight and I want to be done feeling weak.